Dr. Harmander Singh
Real Family Therapy by Lori L. Silver from Storytime Tapestry

We grew up with two parents that couldn't get along and never should have married, especially each other. They did however manage to produce two beautiful daughters who felt very lucky to have each other growing up. Many nights my sister Cindy and I spent huddled together in the same bed listening to them arguing violently and uncontrollably. When you live through something like that it either "makes you or breaks you". At a very early age I was forced to be strong, smart, responsible and tougher than any child should ever have to be. I say to this day that I didn't really have much of a childhood. Of course what I'm referring to is the "typical childhood" that each and every one of us wants to give our kids. As I look back now, I guess I wouldn't change one thing. As all of it has truly made me the person that I am today.

We lived in a garage. Oh sure Mom, Grandpa, Cindy and I worked hard to make it look like a house but truth is...it was still a garage and everybody in the neighborhood knew it. One by one we met and were introduced to neighbors and brought them through for 'the tour.' Time after time we listened to, "Oh this is REALLY cute," "It's not what I expected," "Oh you don't have running hot water?" "You use a COAL furnace to heat with?"

"All of you live in this small space?" until I thought I would run screaming out our newly installed frontdoor that had replaced the typical pull-down garage door model.

Mom and Dad had split up again. This time she said it was for good. Cindy and I were hoping it was even though we missed Dad alot. At an early age we knew that those two were like oil and water and would never "mix up" good. Times were extremely tough for us. We wore second-hand clothes and ate a lot of pork and beans and peanut butter sandwiches but at least we ate. We had to heat water in huge pans on a small gas stove to do dishes and take sponge baths using a big washtub. Once a week we got to go across the street for a real shower.


I would run the hot water out standing in there singing up a storm, it felt so good!

To this day, that feeling comes back every time I step into a shower. Because of going without for so long, I still relish each and every one and probably always will. Life was extremely hard but we had each other. Many nights we had to wear hats and mittens to bed and huddle close together to keep warm. The place was small and it was real drafty. The coal furnace just couldn't keep us warm in the bitter winter months. I remember Mom coming around many times in the middle of the night to wake us up because she was afraid that we would freeze to death.

Time after time I watched my mother work two or three jobs, have junky old cars that were always breaking down, be up all night tending the coal fire and then go to work for 10 or 15 hours on her feet. I'd catch her late at night crying over a mound, literally, of unpaid bills. Dad remarried and didn't do much to help any of us. He hardly ever came around anymore and we missed him less and less.

There was one upstairs loft room that had no insulation where Mom slept. Cindy and I shared an old, hard, green, fold down couch in the tiny living room. We had no dresser, or posters or stuffed animals, toys or girl things. There just wasn't room for us to have our own space like that. The kitchen was tiny and the bathroom had only a toilet at first. A sink was added later. We did the work ourselves with the help of neighbors and family members.

One Spring day I'll never forget and still call "our family therapy day" I was around 8 years old. It was 1964 and Cindy was close to being 6. We got off the school bus and walked down the road together as usual. About half way home we heard pounding and hammering, hooting, hollering and a whole lot of noise coming from our small house. We ran home as fast as we could and threw open the front door. There mom stood in front of the wall between our tiny kitchen and even smaller living room. She had a towel tied across her face, plastic goggles on top of that and a sledgehammer in her hand. She was beating the wall down!

At first we were a little scared but as the light from the door fell across her she stopped and turned with a HUGE smile on her face. We knew then that everything was alright. She walked over and in the corner were goggles, face masks, and hammers for us. She said...."Come on kids, we're gonna take this wall down and get some light in this box!".

We followed her directions and a few days later the wall was gone, the room now looked huge. Later we installed a nice, big bright window right where the wall seam had been. After that our lives definitely took a turn for the better! Together we could do anything we put our minds to!

Within a few years we added a couple of rooms off of the side of the house. Now we had a living room and a real bedroom for Cindy and I to share with a dresser, a closet and a door that closed. We could finally put up posters on the walls and have friends stay over. We were in heaven. Mom would watch our little black and white tv late at night when we were in our room and not keep us awake. Life was great!

Mom will never really know the invaluable lessons that she taught us that Spring day and all through our childhood. She may never know how we've carried that wisdom and her zest with us our whole lives. To think that it all started on a typical day with one wall coming down is amazing!

Later on when both Cindy and I were gone mom fell on hard times and lost our house for taxes. She didn't tell us until it was too late and there was nothing any of us could do to stop it. True to form she picked herself up, shook herself off and started all over again. Nowdays when I'm blue or having hard times I may drive there to look at our house and think back on many, many years ago.

Oh, it looks so much different now but I know that living as we did after my parents divorce was a huge turning point for all of us. It taught us to be strong, resilient and resourceful. It made us appreciate what we had and each other. It brought us closer together than we have ever been. It changed our lives profoundly for the better and I am thankful for every minute of it.

Lori L. Siver
ladybounty2000@yahoo[dot]com

A featured story of April 23, 2012 of and with thanks from the Storytime Tapestry, a daily ezine by Carol Roach
Dr. Harmander Singh
Swadhyaya: Study or Self Observation - A Unique Approach for All Alike Philselfologically

I have done intensive and in-depth research works based on the Swadhaya, and could not find an exact name in English that can give meaning to it. While calling it self-study, the problem was that swa in the Sanskrit is for Self and adhaya is to study. However, it differs from what we know as self-study in English or modern studies and education in general.


As this method is philosophical, scientific, psychological, spiritual, artistic and embracing many other faculties of human knowledge and wisdom, it needed a new name.

After very long deliberation, I gave it a name Philselfology. The Phil is for the philosophy that is origin of knowledge and wisdom, self is the main learner inside us, the child within, (In Indian context, the soul or Atama does not need to learn anything as its beyond human mind)and the logy or logs is the scientific way for learning anything.

Thus, the word Philselfology is based on the Swadhaya.

I have written more than 50 books based on this concept of learning. These are in all genres of English, but focus is philselfological, the Art of Swadhaya.

Its a Vedic term in the Sanskrit language. The word Veda has a meaning, which is Learning Wisdom with observation, and it embraces art of listening, art of reading, art of scientific oratory, and lot more that we know as Classical Music, Dance, Literature, Science, Technology, Philosophy, Math, and many other faculties of knowledge that are present in almost all Indian Schools of Philosophy, Religion, Art, Music and Indian natural lifestyle in general.

It focus on practicing what one knows and thus follow the two very important theories of learning, living and leaving:

1. Theory or Principle of Induction

and

2. Theory or Principle of Deduction


It helps one to be contributors of knowledge and wisdom, and thus helps to leave using borrowed knowledge, which we know but do not practice.

We as the humans are not computers and thus users of knowledge, and once we learn to be contributors of knowledge, we start to live what we know. It is said that if one says what one does and does what one says, that human is a contributor of knowledge not consumer. Thus, it helps to be a better contributor for greater good and wellness of all.

The following discussion/discourse is about it from the Ancient Methods of Self-study and learning that I usually write as SSA (Self-Study and Learning), this is also called universal method of learning:

How does Swadhyaya show up for you in your life?

What are you studying?

How do you study?

Where is your inner self guiding you to study in your life?

Who are your teachers?

Is study a part of your everyday life?

There is a reason that we are here in this life now and part of that is to learn. Just observing our everyday activities and learning from them Life becomes a classroom. Learning how to look at our hurts, pains and failures we have to opportunity to learn and change the most.

Sometimes we study more formally such as in schools Sometimes we study life itself. How do we contemplate our lives? We must create time for self-reflection. Yoga, Meditation, and chanting reading the ancient sciptures and wanting to know the truth. Self-observation gives you a pause between stimulus and response, letting you have room to breathe, relax, feel, watch, and allow. Items you are pondering may come clear to you during these times of self-observation. or it may take time for truth to emerge. Be open and have the spirit of exploration within you.

Swadhyaya lasts a lifetime ... or all lifetimes

Consider the meaning of spiritual concepts – understanding the underlying wisdom, NOT accepting without question. Expanding knowledge through reading, pondering to understand the scriptures for observation of the self in relation to all life.


It is impossible to practice any of the other precepts without this one. It is taking the time to take ourselves seriously. It is working with our limitations, our shames, our potential, and going deeper into them to progress ourselves into transcendence. If we have any limitations in our body’s, minds, emotions this how spirit tries to get our attention. This is an inner teaching awaiting us. An area of untapped growth awaiting us.

It is through this path that we come to union with Godliness.

Guru Gita says:

Swadhyaya increases inner radiance, mental vigor agility. Its practice is far more uplifting that indulging in futile thoughts and unnecessary mental activity or following worthless tendencies. Swadhyaya embraces all aspects of yoga and grants all its rewards.

Miracle of Love by Paul Ferrini says:

The purpose of your journey here is to discover the Self and leave the persona behind. You are here to find out that the Source of love lies within your own consciousness. You donot have to seek love outside of yourself. Indeed, the very act of seeking it in the world will prevent you from recognizing it with yourself. And if you can’t find love within, you will never be able tofind it in others. You can’t see the light in others until you see it in yourself. Once you see it in yourself, ther is no one in whom you don not see the light. It does not matter if they see it or not. You know it’s there. And it is the light you address when you speak to them.

(With thanks from the source: http://www.lakecenteryoga.com/html/swadhyaya_-_stu... )
Dr. Harmander Singh
Some of the Sikh Gurus had more than one marriage. Thus, they had more than one wife. In Sikh Marriage Act, a Sikh cannot have more than one life partner. It is a very important fact about Sikhism that needs attention. Sikhism gives a great importance to marriage. The householder life has a great significance. Thus, the marriage is an integral part of life of a Sikh. It is for living an ideal life in the world family. These Sikh Gurus practiced martial art and used the traditional weapons. In this research based topic, we discuss about Sikh marriage. For the married life, a Sikh cannot have many life partners legally as spouse. The following Sikh Gurus had more than one wife:

1. Shri Guru Hargobind Ji

2. Shri Guru Har Rai

3. Shri Guru Gobind Singh Ji

The Sixth Sikh Guru, Shri Guru Hargobind was the first Sikh Guru, who had more than one marriage. Eventually, he had more than one wife. It is considered illegal in the Sikh Marriage Act in India and world in general. However, this wiki article explains about how and why it is not relevant to the law that we have today in India and abroad. He as the Sikh Guru had three wives. The more facts about him include the following:

1. He was also the first Sikh Guru, who did not write the Sikh Teachings, the Gurbani in the Holy Book of Sikhs. The Holy Book of Sikhs is Shri Guru Granth Sahib

2. He was also the first Sikh Guru, who lived like a King


3. He was the first Sikh Guru, who introduced the Martial Arts in Sikhism. It were for self and social defense

4. The Founder of System of Religious Social Justice among Sikhs, and people in general at the Court of Justice conducted by the Congregation, the People at Akal Takhat, Amritsar


5. He introduced the religion as the source of democracy in which the people as the congregation has the power of making decision not the Ruler alone

6. He reinforced the obedience of national law for welfare of all. As the National Ruler, the Mughal Emperor had set this law. He as the Sixth Sikh Guru humbled himself and even went to the Gwalior jail. Jahangir, the Mughal Emperor, sent him to the jail. The First Sikh Guru Nanak obeyed when Baber, the Mughal Emperor sent him to jail. Similarly, the Fifth Guru Shri Guru Arjan did as he sacrificed his life in the jail. He was martyred by the Jahangir, the Mughal Emperor


7. He wanted to ensure equal rights to all kings in India. When he was released from the Gwalior jail, he asked Jahangir, the Mughal Emperor to release all 52 kings in the jail. It is called the Bandi Chhor Divas, the Liberation Day for Prisoners. The Sikhs celebrate it every year on Diwali. The Diwali is a festival in India. It is the festival of lights

8. He constructed the forts for defense and security. These forts were for spiritual practice of martial arts


9. He founded a city named Kiratpur Sahib. The Sikhs perform the last ceremony as a ritual at this place after a Sikh dies. Many Hindus perform this ritual at the Ganges, Haridwara

10. He invented a musical instrument. It has a name Taus meaning peacock

These facts about Sikhism are not controversial. It lacks the factual details. We are discussing it in these series of wikinut articles. In other words, these are some of the unknown facts making one doubt about Sikh marriages. Sikh Gurus namely Shri Guru Har Rai, and Shri Guru Gobind Singh followed this tradition of having more than one marriage.

As the Seventh Sikh Guru, Shri Guru Har Rai lived like a King. He was married more than once. He had continued the same spiritual quest as a Sikh Guru and the King. It was to promote what the Sixth Guru, Shri Guru Hargobind started.

Please read the full article at the Wiki Nut: http://guides.wikinut.com/Philosophy-and-Concept-o...
Dr. Harmander Singh
The Value of Encouragement by Phil Evans

We are lucky enough to live opposite a magnificent sporting complex (3 soccer fields and a cricket pitch); so we get entertained all year round with the presence of people of all ages playing to win! The most passion shown is when the kids are playing!

The other day I experienced a soccer coach working with his young teenage team just prior to them playing a match.

What a great time I had listening to his words of praise and encouragement as I walked just near them as I wandered home from one of my daily strolls beside our beautiful lake.

His words were so uplifting and supportive to this group of keen young sportsmen! They were about to go onto the field, and do their best to win their game, which they train so hard for every week.

After I got home I sat and observed his actions with the young guys just before they ran on to begin play. I couldn't hear his words now as I was inside our home and telling Sue what I had heard him saying; but I could distinctly see his supportive actions and energy as he spoke to every player individually. Pats on the back; hand shakes; high-fives; encouragement plus! Pure magic!

Every one of them lit up with enthusiasm and eagerness to do their best for him, for themselves, and for the team!

The coach of the other team was displaying the exact opposite behavior; he was yelling abuse and criticism 'at' his young players the whole time; and displayed an arrogant argumentative attitude towards the opposition team and the umpire for the entire game.

Yes - the team who received the nurturing and encouragement did win the game! And...they celebrated accordingly with their singing, dancing, and excited cheering!

The other team walked off the field with their heads hung down in disappointment.

The people in our lives; those people who we spend time and conversation with; are also experiencing either encouragement or criticism from us and others.

They also will be feeling those winning or losing emotions; just as we do from others in our lives!

It is important for us all to be aware of what we are 'putting out there' when dealing with family, friends, and work mates.

Yes, I do understand that "What other people do or say is their stuff; and how we react (or not) is our stuff"; however - this message today is about promoting the use of encouraging words and actions as often as possible.

Encouragement: We all need to hear it; see it; and feel it!

Best way for each of us to have that experience is to give it out freely; and it will come back freely!

Have a great week of doing your best to just be YOU!

(c) Phil Evans - People Stuff TM - 2011

Phil Evans is a Motivator, Business Coach, Life Coach and Inspirational Writer specialising in Relationship Dynamics and Adoption Issues. You can visit his website at: www.peoplestuff.com.au and join his newsletter.
Dr. Harmander Singh
Why and How Australia is Better than Europe and USA, and the rest of the world - My Research Work Philselfology


In my opinion (based on long term research works that started with studies on Australia in 1986 and the studying their for 2 years from January, 1989 to February, 1991), we can have India and Australia as one joined country as East meets West as both have the same geographical and and in nutshell the natural world.

I went through the world political systems that includes Communism that is based on Karl Marx, who wrote it in while British Empire was going down, Capitalism that was basically from British Empire as with Industrial Revolution, the same trend of revolutions that later followed.

The late Prime Minister of India Mr. Rajiv Gandhi wanted to redesign India as set of 6 states and because of his such national and international plannings he seem to have been victim and thus assassinated. Frankly speaking I have no interest in the politics but in the Philosophy of Politics that needs philosophers and thinkers.

The very philosophers and the thinkers of politics are the ones, who do not aim to rule but keep standards of human civilization. These include Socrates, Plato and Aristotle, and also the modern thinkers like King Martin Luther and Mahatma Gandhi.

Please read the full article from here: http://peace4allinlife.blogspot.com/2011/08/why-an...
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