I'm on a break at work Christmas Eve and I see a book called "Eat, Pray, Love." Now while I've seen this book many times before, this time something told me to pick it up. I open to a random page. Here's what I read:
"Moreover, I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must HAVE boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time - EVERYTHING."
LOL Smile
"If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else."
Hmmmmmmm.......Remind you of someone? Anyone at all????
READ THE BOOK MICHELLE!!!! Smile
I take the book home. It's about a woman named Liz who leaves the traditional perfect marriage and goes off to live in Italy, India, and Indonesia for a year to find herself. And while she does want to be spiritual, she mentions she also doesn't want to be a monk and still wants the worldly pleasure of this world. (yeah, I get her!!!)
Now while I still want what I want, my eyes are opening to new possibilities. Maybe I don't want to get married? Maybe marriage isn't for everybody? Or maybe I'm just going backwards? Travelled, messed up first, then will get married? OR maybe, just maybe, in order to find what/who I really want....I have to find myself first (imagine that). Yes, I see. This......Elizabeth Gilbert, has something to teach me. I KNOW IT.
Now while I can't quite go to Italy, India and Indonesia at the moment to find myself ..I do choose to spend this lovely Christmas evening by MYSELF. Did I mention how beautiful I feel inside? YES, I am single. YES, I don't know what the future holds. BUT I am happy NOW. I am at peace NOW.
And does anything else matter?
Didn't think so.
Merry Christmas!!!!
Love,
Michelle
With thanks from the source: http://spiritualnetworks.com/pokergirl/blog/eat-pr...