Mind

Is Happiness Around The Corner?

by Michael Josephson

For lots of people, happiness is just around the corner. They just need to get their degree, a particular job, a promotion, or a raise. Maybe they're waiting to get married or have a child. Perhaps they will be happy when they retire.

Alfred D' Souza said, "For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." John Lennon put it another way, "Life is what happens while you are making other plans."

The point is our lives are happening now. If we are to get the satisfaction and fulfillment we want, we have to learn to draw pleasure and joy from everything that happens to us and around us because these experiences are the very essence of our life. The more conscious we are that life consists of the journey, not the destination, the more likely we are to get the most out of it.

So, if there are things you want to do, begin to fit them in now or accept the fact that you can be happy whether or not you do them.

Happiness isn't just around the corner. It's now or it's never.
The good news is you have everything you need to be happy. Philosophers, poets, and scientists all agree it can't be attained through money, prestige, or power. Happiness is not a fact, it's a mindset. All you need is optimism and gratitude.

Michael Josephson
www.charactercounts.org

With thanks from the source: www.InsightoftheDay.com

Copyright © 2011

All rights reserved

Don't Let Life Get In The Way Of Your Life

The memories are so very clear. We had just put the final touches; the last giant cubes of marble and concrete were setting in. It didn't matter that they were really big rocks and chunks of dirt and mud on the walls. What a magnificent structure! No Indians, no Cavalry, no Kings Men and no Attila the Hun could storm these walls. My friends and I had built this magnificent fort to withstand any assault from our imaginary enemies. It never occurred to us that this fortress, this pillar of strength could crumble at any moment. It had taken us days to build but they were wonderful days. The sun was blistering hot. July days in southern Ohio would get that way. The Great Miami River sparkled in the distance as we slaved and struggled to build this edifice to engineering. Of course we didn't know that's what we were building but that's what my memory of those days has etched in my dreams. We had built something that nobody else had ever built and we'd defend it to the last man; or 8 year old boy. Life was so exciting back then and this fort represented all that was good. And then the rains came. Two days of torrential rain and the river kept rising and the insurmountable, the un-breachable fort was gone, carried away in the deluge. Dreams were destroyed that week in 1953 but they would appear again. We just didn't realize it at the time. It didn't cross our minds that we were actually learning one of the basics of an adventuresome life. Nothing lasts forever

It's interesting how memories and dreams sustain us as we grow older. Life often becomes what we want it to be based on those dreams of long ago. Sadly, we too often forget to live those dreams and we forget that anything is possible in a dream.

I've always been a bit of a dreamer so those memories of long ago have stayed with me as if they happened yesterday. That doesn't mean it hasn't rained on my forts just a few times. Those memories have helped me rebuild many forts and continue to do so today. Forts though get bigger, stronger and harder to rebuild as we get older but they don't disappear. They just take more work. I've learned over these many years that those rebuilt forts have led to the greatest lessons I've ever experienced. These are the lessons that make life worthwhile, more challenging and satisfying than almost all of the other lessons combined. I like to describe them as just one of many rebirths.

My youngest daughter had just gotten married a few weeks prior to me visiting the Dr. in May of 1998. This wasn't a comfortable visit but it was one where I pretty much knew what the outcome would be. As a runner and avid weight lifter I knew right away the signs of a hernia and thus my visit to the Dr. Little did I know that this visit would change my life and it would never be the same.

Over the next couple of weeks I was told that my kidneys were down to about 25% functioning and I soon required emergency surgery on my hernia. I was forced to delay the original hernia surgery due to the kidney issue. The prognosis I was given set the stage for life altering events that would take me in a direction I had never dreamed. The lessons I would learn would change me in ways that were unimaginable before that day. I would never be the same.My fort was being destroyed by torrents of bad news. My internal fortress was washed away, seemingly to never be found again.

Thus was my introduction to one of the most life altering moments in my fifty plus years and the beginning of a journey that continues even today. It's strange how these forts we build in our lives can crumble overnight. We think we can withstand anything and then the unexpected storm happens and the walls come tumbling down. What we do at that point creates the defining moments in our lives. Who we are and what we are made of screams out at us to make a statement and be heard. Whether we do or not attests to our makeup and sets the stage for making those dreams come true or letting them wash away with the turmoil.

For me it wasn't traumatic or even frightening. It was more like a slap across the face when I wasn't quite ready. Have you ever had a slap like that? A slap that hits you square in the face when you least expect it. It usually happens when we aren't looking with the painfully delivered message that life was changing forever. I had kidney disease and I actually lost my breath. My fort had failed to keep out the enemy. My walls crumbled and the invaders were close at hand. I was facing hand to hand combat and I didn't even have a weapon; or did I?

That was June of 1998 and I had just come through a pretty stressful few months. I lost my mother, mother-in-law and brother-in-law all between the first week in October, 1997 and Christmas. My youngest daughter had just gotten married in May, 1998 and I had just completed one of the most lucrative consulting assignments I'd had since starting my business in 1992. To say my life was turned upside down was an understatement. I almost didn't know what to deal with first, my grief over losing my loved ones, my joy over my daughter's marriage, my elation that my business had finally taken off or the crash of a life altering illness. It was a lot to deal with but as I look back, I realize that this 8 month period of time would define my life from that point forward. I now know why we say, everything happens for a reason. I now truly understand my purpose in life. Kidney disease pushed me over the hump and forced me to see more clearly what I needed to do and that i t was not as difficult or confusing as I had always made it. What I finally found was the direction I'd searched for most of my life and that direction was forward. All the trials and tribulations, all the struggles and setbacks, all the losses and seeming failures in life as well as the victories and happy times were simply a part of life. My fort could be rebuilt just like that one many years earlier. Why hadn't I seen it before?

We all have our forts destroyed at some time in our lives. Many of those forts aren't all that big or strong and some, like mine don't fall so easily but when they do, we need a plan to rebuild. We need to think clearly and rationally and believe in our hearts that it was just a structure. It had a foundation and walls and rooms that were pieces of a life well lived but it didn't have to have a roof. It didn't have to have a ceiling that stopped us. When we realize this, we're on our way to success. So how do we rebuild those forts? We keep our wits and think things through.

We slow down and analyze the problem. Overreaction can be the death of any good plan.

We act. We do something. Procrastination never accomplishes anything.

We logically move forward, one step at a time.

We believe that this is the beginning of a new chapter in life and it may very well be the best one.

I read one time where it's never too late to become what we might have been. Don't let your life get in the way of your life. It's just not all that complicated.

Jim Dineen

Jim Dineen is an author, speaker and writer who has experienced dialysis and transplant and all of its ensuing complications in a not so complicated way. His first book, "Life's Just Not That Complicated" very concisely looks at life's challenges and asks, if it's really as difficult as we make it. He can be contacted through his web site at www.eagledreamer.com or.

With thanks from the source: www.InsightoftheDay.com

Copyright © 2011

All rights reserved

Have Faith and Move Forward

I remember about a year or so ago I decided to reread Norman Vincent Peale's The Power of Positive Thinking. I was going through a hard time. I had just been diagnosed with Breast Cancer and I was very scared!

I didn't really know what stage the cancer was. I was in the middle of having surgery to have the tumor removed and had not yet found out how far the cancer had progressed and if it was in an early "curable stage". The good news is it was, and my treatment was nothing compared with what some woman go through. I was still so scared and the emotional toll it placed on my mind and feelings was probably the hardest thing for me to deal within my life.

Anyway, just before I was diagnosed with cancer, I had decided to expand my business. I own an art gallery in a very wealthy area of California, but found that the downtown area had become less busy in the last few years. I wanted to have a "satellite" store" in another part of town that was heavily populated with shoppers.

I had found the "perfect" spot. It was positioned between two "perfect" stores and was in a small shopping center in town that had just been renovated and was bustling with shoppers! The space had been rented and remodeled, but then the tenants backed out of the lease and it was ready for me to rent it! The rent was inexpensive and it was "MY" spot!

I had made an appointment to meet the landlord and sign the contract the next day....then I received a call from my Doctor saying that I had in fact, had Breast Cancer and we needed to operate as soon as possible. I was not able at that point to sign the contract and had to let my "perfect spot" go. It was rented shortly after that.

Within the last two years every time I had gone by that shopping center I would grunt to myself, "that space should have been mine". "If I hadn't gotten cancer, I would be in that space and all would be well". I started feeling sorry for myself.

That's when I decided to reread The Power of Positive Thinking. I remember reading in the book about a man that had lost his promotion to another man that the company had brought to fill the position. He was so angry and felt that it was so unjust for the company and God to not let him have this promotion. He had worked harder and longer than the other man in the company and felt he was the "perfect" man for the job. He was devastated.

He and his wife struggled to let go of that promotion and focus on moving forward and accept that this was not the time or the job for him at this point in his career.Two years later the President of this company stepped down from his position and this man became the President of that company! What an inspirational story I thought to myself. Yes, they tell me all the time "sometimes when things pass you by it's because there is something better waiting for you in the wings", " You need to have faith and move forward", so that's what I did. I had faith and I moved forward.

It's been a little over two years since my cancer diagnosis and I feel like I'm back to normal again. I have moved forward and a couple of weeks ago, out of the blue, a friend of mine called me to tell me that there was a space opening up beside him in a very good building that has only art galleries in it. It is a building known for having very good high end galleries and collectors from all over the country and the world come to visit this building and the galleries that are in it. Well, I'm sure you know that this was my "Perfect" spot! Yes in deed....I got a bigger space, in a better place, for less money!!!! I can't tell you how the story of the man in the Norman Vincent Peale Book came rushing back to my mind. Yes, it is true! It is! Faith and the ability to let go and move on is what was needed. I did that, I trusted and I gave myself and God time to work things out.

Next month the gallery opens and though it is a small gallery space, it is a "perfect" space, it is the space that was given to me by God.

Karen Imperial

Feel free to email your thoughts to Karen on her story to: and take the time to view her gallery website at: www.bryantstreet.com

With thanks from the source: www.insightoftheday.com

"We all fall down" Part 2

by Bob Perks

I wrote the following prayer and framed it as a gift
to Marianne on Valentine's Day this year:

"A Prayer and a Promise"
God...Thank you for my beautiful, loving, wife Marianne.
Give her strength to get through this day. Hold her hand
for me as she has used that hand to pull me up time and time
again. Whisper in her ear, "Bob Loves You"...if ever
she should tire and remind her that this is a new journey
we all will share, "ever more."


This is the follow up to the story I sent yesterday.
If you missed it visit my archives
here:
http://archive.aweber.com/iwishyouenough

Thanks to my sister-in-law, Elaine for the inspiration for
the title. She took the time to speak with me after my
wife told her what happened. Her first words to me were,
"Bob, we all fall down."

I have since spoken to everyone in my family about it.
I am loved.


"We all fall down" Part 2
By Bob Perks
I arrived at the facility in the early evening.

I had since calmed down and was adjusting
to the reality that there was no way out. I
simply had to follow through on the process
so I could get on with my life.

What I wasn't acknowledging was I needed
help to do it.

Upon arrival I told the nurses that I wanted
no visitors. Not even my wife. Perceived
shame and arrogance still prevailed.

I was introduced to my room and room mate
and settled in with what little I had.

The unit was a fully locked facility for obvious
security reasons.

As I was checking in, I observed a group of
people in what was called the community room.
All eyes on the new guy made me feel a bit
uncomfortable at first.

I have never had a problem with meeting new
people so, I made my rounds introducing myself
to the others.

I began a journey defiantly and would come to
discover it was all in God's plan.

Since I arrived late on a Friday the next few days
would be pretty much uneventful. There were no
therapy sessions, classes or in depth conversations
with anyone other than my new friends.

I was in Adult 4. This section worked with people
who were struggling with life issues. Cutters, people
who hurt themselves, people there for a brief mental
interlude because life was smothering them and a few
who had suicidal thoughts.

I am guessing that some of you might refer to this
as the "nut house", the "loony bin," and other
sadly misunderstood and hurtful labels.

It couldn't be further from the truth.

In one discussion I had with a fellow patient, we
came to the conclusion that if you took
anyone off the street, perhaps even you, and placed
them in this unit, you'd fit right in. You'd most
likely discover unaddressed issues and realities
you may be hiding for years. You might also have
a difficult time convincing the staff that you were
"just fine" and could go home.

The fact is, we all have life challenges. Some handle
them, some don't...some hide them and slowly self
destruct from the inside out.

This place can change all of that.

I believed that as soon as Monday arrived they would
come to see that I didn't belong there and release me.
Throughout the weekend, in fact, a number of people
asked me, "What ARE you doing here? You're too happy."
It became apparent on Monday that in order to get
home I'd have to prove my ability to deal with my
over sensitivity to family concerns and put things
in perspective.

I didn't want to become numb to my sensitive ways, I just
wanted to put them in their proper place.

I would later determine that I had not in any way attempted
to take my life. All my pills were intact, accept for the
scrambled message sent to my friend asking for prayer,
there were no suicide goodbyes or notes left for loved ones.
I simply crashed under self imposed pressure.

That first evening I called my wife and apologized for what
had happened. I asked for her to visit the next day.

It was super bowl weekend and I knew I had to do something
about it. A few were taking up a small collection to try
to get a pizza.

Since I had no money, wallet or cell phone, I had to wait my
turn at the pay phone to place a request with Marianne.

"I heard they wanted to order pizza for the group. I offered
to pay for everything. So, I need $100," I told Marianne.
"Okay?" she replied with a slight bit of confusion.

This little party became the focus of everyone there. We were
about to place an order for $100 worth of pizza, wings and
soda. It was a big deal because most of the hospital food
was tasteless. Pizza and wings were a bit of the reality of
outside the walls of this place and a taste of the future we
all longed for.

It was remarkable how excited everyone was. Those who had
cares and concerns, depression and anxiety came together
to celebrate life.

When Marianne arrived I also had her bring several copies of
my two books to leave for others and to give to people I felt
God wanted me to personally touch.

Over the next few days I came to know each and every one of
these people like we were long time friends, even family.

I truly believe that I was meant to be there. There was
a greater purpose than my own issues for having to spend
time with friends I've never met...before now.

Although we sat through chat sessions of therapy, art classes
where scissors were not permitted and all too many games of
Pictionary, I discovered that the real therapy evolved right there
in the community room and in the hallways one on one among
the people themselves.

It took 14 full laps to walk the hallway to equal one mile. I did
a lot of walking.

We did a lot of talking.

I cannot go into personal details of the lives and reasons
my new found friends were there, but I will tell you that for
some like myself, it would be a one time visit. For some it
was like a homecoming because they still have not found
the answers they were seeking and have been there
before.

No, it wasn't because they lacked faith. The Bible was
prominent in many conversations. It wasn't because they
were "druggies and alcoholics" who some consider should
be locked up for good.

They were human beings with families, children, lovers,
friends and professionals who permitted life to get out of
focus and fear rule over their every decision. Yes, some
had drinking problems, drug addictions but all were just
like you and I. God's children.

It would end up being six days in that facility for me.

I remember clearly the moment my wife walked through
the door that first day and saw me standing there with
my sneakers unlaced, my belt missing, unshaven and
ashamed.

I can see myself standing in the window of my room
each night watching her drive away into the real world,
the big world I could not touch, smell or even inhale.

The day I was released I walked into the community
room where all my friends were meeting. Interrupting the
class I stood in the doorway afraid that I would burst into
tears because you know I hate goodbyes.

Suddenly these words came to mind:
"Every time you hear a car horn beep, a patient gets
their wings. Listen in a few moments you'll hear it."

I hugged two friends, Momma and Big T, as tears poured out.

I ran as fast as I could with the nurse to meet my wife downstairs.
I didn't even lace my shoes nor put a belt on.

As we pulled out of the lot I said, "Turn right and stop
when I tell you."

She did. I laid my hand on the horn and beeped a dozen
or more times.

Reminiscent of "It's a Wonderful Life" I found myself
yelling, "Hello, car!" "Hello, house" "Hello, pond!"
"Hello, froggy on top of the television!"

And then I fell on the floor and let my dogs lick
the "hello" out of me!

On a Valentine's Day I will remember the rest of my well
lived and greatly appreciated life, I had my first appointment
with my psychiatrist. A tough old guy who during my stay there
personally challenged me by knowing what buttons to push.

I had promised him when we made the appointment on my
last visit with him that I would call if I needed him.

"You know that's Valentine's day. Do
I need to bring you chocolates?"

"Yes," he replied without looking at me.

"Milk or dark?" I asked.

"Mix."

"Okay, but I refuse to bring you flowers!" I told him.

"You can't eat flowers," he said with a tiny curled up smile
on his face.

It turned out to be the sweetest day of my life.

So, there you are. I had to be committed to a mental facility.
Just writing that still shakes me a bit.

It was worth it.

Imagine too, what my wife felt like. Imagine the pain and
anguish she held in her heart as she left me there and
drove home to an empty house.

She would later tell that she "felt my presence."

Now listen...you there right now reading this. There is
no shame in any of this. If you had any other disease or
physical ailment you would deal with it. You would fight
for your life.

If you are struggling with life and at times feel overwhelmed
and think you can't handle it talk to your family, your doctor,
your minister, rabbi or priest. Talk to God. He's a great
listener and already knows your heart.

If you have had thoughts of suicide...don't wait, get help
right now! No your family or the world won't be better off
without you. They will suffer greatly and there will be a void
left in their lives that only you can fill. You can lose your job,
your house, your best friend, spouse or all your valuables and
your being gone won't change any of that.

You are loved. Even if you think you aren't.
You are needed desperately in this world. Even when you
believe you have no purpose.

God didn't create you without purpose. He created you with
love and hope for the world.

I love you,
I need you.

Here are four things that I learned:
1. I will stop and think before I react and ask myself "Is it worth it?"
2. I will do what is in my best interest.
3. I will NEVER consider suicide. There are always other options.
4. I will remember the past to learn from it so I don't repeat the
same mistakes or "Beat Myself up."

Oh, wait. There are five...
My wife did this because she loved me that much. Yes, That much!

I want you to learn to love yourself that much, too. To love yourself
is to love God who created you.

There is nothing that you and God can't handle together.
I know. Believe me, I know because...
"We all fall down!"
Love always and all ways,
Bob
"I wish you enough!"
J
Bob


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