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Real Family Therapy by Lori L. Silver from Storytime T

Posted April 25, 2012 by Dr. Harmander Singh in Counseling, Sociology, Culture & Civilization, Oneness, Making A Difference, Family & Home, Inspiration

Real Family Therapy by Lori L. Silver from Storytime Tapestry

We grew up with two parents that couldn't get along and never should have married, especially each other. They did however manage to produce two beautiful daughters who felt very lucky to have each other growing up. Many nights my sister Cindy and I spent huddled together in the same bed listening to them arguing violently and uncontrollably. When you live through something like that it either "makes you or breaks you". At a very early age I was forced to be strong, smart, responsible and tougher than any child should ever have to be. I say to this day that I didn't really have much of a childhood. Of course what I'm referring to is the "typical childhood" that each and every one of us wants to give our kids. As I look back now, I guess I wouldn't change one thing. As all of it has truly made me the person that I am today.

We lived in a garage. Oh sure Mom, Grandpa, Cindy and I worked hard to make it look like a house but truth is...it was still a garage and everybody in the neighborhood knew it. One by one we met and were introduced to neighbors and brought them through for 'the tour.' Time after time we listened to, "Oh this is REALLY cute," "It's not what I expected," "Oh you don't have running hot water?" "You use a COAL furnace to heat with?"

"All of you live in this small space?" until I thought I would run screaming out our newly installed frontdoor that had replaced the typical pull-down garage door model.

Mom and Dad had split up again. This time she said it was for good. Cindy and I were hoping it was even though we missed Dad alot. At an early age we knew that those two were like oil and water and would never "mix up" good. Times were extremely tough for us. We wore second-hand clothes and ate a lot of pork and beans and peanut butter sandwiches but at least we ate. We had to heat water in huge pans on a small gas stove to do dishes and take sponge baths using a big washtub. Once a week we got to go across the street for a real shower.

I would run the hot water out standing in there singing up a storm, it felt so good!

To this day, that feeling comes back every time I step into a shower. Because of going without for so long, I still relish each and every one and probably always will. Life was extremely hard but we had each other. Many nights we had to wear hats and mittens to bed and huddle close together to keep warm. The place was small and it was real drafty. The coal furnace just couldn't keep us warm in the bitter winter months. I remember Mom coming around many times in the middle of the night to wake us up because she was afraid that we would freeze to death.

Time after time I watched my mother work two or three jobs, have junky old cars that were always breaking down, be up all night tending the coal fire and then go to work for 10 or 15 hours on her feet. I'd catch her late at night crying over a mound, literally, of unpaid bills. Dad remarried and didn't do much to help any of us. He hardly ever came around anymore and we missed him less and less.

There was one upstairs loft room that had no insulation where Mom slept. Cindy and I shared an old, hard, green, fold down couch in the tiny living room. We had no dresser, or posters or stuffed animals, toys or girl things. There just wasn't room for us to have our own space like that. The kitchen was tiny and the bathroom had only a toilet at first. A sink was added later. We did the work ourselves with the help of neighbors and family members.

One Spring day I'll never forget and still call "our family therapy day" I was around 8 years old. It was 1964 and Cindy was close to being 6. We got off the school bus and walked down the road together as usual. About half way home we heard pounding and hammering, hooting, hollering and a whole lot of noise coming from our small house. We ran home as fast as we could and threw open the front door. There mom stood in front of the wall between our tiny kitchen and even smaller living room. She had a towel tied across her face, plastic goggles on top of that and a sledgehammer in her hand. She was beating the wall down!

At first we were a little scared but as the light from the door fell across her she stopped and turned with a HUGE smile on her face. We knew then that everything was alright. She walked over and in the corner were goggles, face masks, and hammers for us. She said...."Come on kids, we're gonna take this wall down and get some light in this box!".

We followed her directions and a few days later the wall was gone, the room now looked huge. Later we installed a nice, big bright window right where the wall seam had been. After that our lives definitely took a turn for the better! Together we could do anything we put our minds to!

Within a few years we added a couple of rooms off of the side of the house. Now we had a living room and a real bedroom for Cindy and I to share with a dresser, a closet and a door that closed. We could finally put up posters on the walls and have friends stay over. We were in heaven. Mom would watch our little black and white tv late at night when we were in our room and not keep us awake. Life was great!

Mom will never really know the invaluable lessons that she taught us that Spring day and all through our childhood. She may never know how we've carried that wisdom and her zest with us our whole lives. To think that it all started on a typical day with one wall coming down is amazing!

Later on when both Cindy and I were gone mom fell on hard times and lost our house for taxes. She didn't tell us until it was too late and there was nothing any of us could do to stop it. True to form she picked herself up, shook herself off and started all over again. Nowdays when I'm blue or having hard times I may drive there to look at our house and think back on many, many years ago.

Oh, it looks so much different now but I know that living as we did after my parents divorce was a huge turning point for all of us. It taught us to be strong, resilient and resourceful. It made us appreciate what we had and each other. It brought us closer together than we have ever been. It changed our lives profoundly for the better and I am thankful for every minute of it.

Lori L. Siver
ladybounty2000@yahoo[dot]com

A featured story of April 23, 2012 of and with thanks from the Storytime Tapestry, a daily ezine by Carol Roach

Tags: wings for all, health, healthy thoughts, nature, world family, wellness, mind, humanity, mental health, counseling, improvement, self-development, parenthood, teen, youth

Swadhyaya: Study or Self Observation - A Unique Approac

Posted April 17, 2012 by Dr. Harmander Singh in Culture & Civilization, Education, Psychology, Counseling, Learning, Study Skills

Swadhyaya: Study or Self Observation - A Unique Approach for All Alike Philselfologically

I have done intensive and in-depth research works based on the Swadhaya, and could not find an exact name in English that can give meaning to it. While calling it self-study, the problem was that swa in the Sanskrit is for Self and adhaya is to study. However, it differs from what we know as self-study in English or modern studies and education in general.

As this method is philosophical, scientific, psychological, spiritual, artistic and embracing many other faculties of human knowledge and wisdom, it needed a new name.

After very long deliberation, I gave it a name Philselfology. The Phil is for the philosophy that is origin of knowledge and wisdom, self is the main learner inside us, the child within, (In Indian context, the soul or Atama does not need to learn anything as its beyond human mind)and the logy or logs is the scientific way for learning anything.

Thus, the word Philselfology is based on the Swadhaya.

I have written more than 50 books based on this concept of learning. These are in all genres of English, but focus is philselfological, the Art of Swadhaya.

Its a Vedic term in the Sanskrit language. The word Veda has a meaning, which is Learning Wisdom with observation, and it embraces art of listening, art of reading, art of scientific oratory, and lot more that we know as Classical Music, Dance, Literature, Science, Technology, Philosophy, Math, and many other faculties of knowledge that are present in almost all Indian Schools of Philosophy, Religion, Art, Music and Indian natural lifestyle in general.

It focus on practicing what one knows and thus follow the two very important theories of learning, living and leaving:

1. Theory or Principle of Induction

and

2. Theory or Principle of Deduction

It helps one to be contributors of knowledge and wisdom, and thus helps to leave using borrowed knowledge, which we know but do not practice.

We as the humans are not computers and thus users of knowledge, and once we learn to be contributors of knowledge, we start to live what we know. It is said that if one says what one does and does what one says, that human is a contributor of knowledge not consumer. Thus, it helps to be a better contributor for greater good and wellness of all.

The following discussion/discourse is about it from the Ancient Methods of Self-study and learning that I usually write as SSA (Self-Study and Learning), this is also called universal method of learning:

How does Swadhyaya show up for you in your life?

What are you studying?

How do you study?

Where is your inner self guiding you to study in your life?

Who are your teachers?

Is study a part of your everyday life?

There is a reason that we are here in this life now and part of that is to learn. Just observing our everyday activities and learning from them Life becomes a classroom. Learning how to look at our hurts, pains and failures we have to opportunity to learn and change the most.

Sometimes we study more formally such as in schools Sometimes we study life itself. How do we contemplate our lives? We must create time for self-reflection. Yoga, Meditation, and chanting reading the ancient sciptures and wanting to know the truth. Self-observation gives you a pause between stimulus and response, letting you have room to breathe, relax, feel, watch, and allow. Items you are pondering may come clear to you during these times of self-observation. or it may take time for truth to emerge. Be open and have the spirit of exploration within you.

Swadhyaya lasts a lifetime ... or all lifetimes

Consider the meaning of spiritual concepts – understanding the underlying wisdom, NOT accepting without question. Expanding knowledge through reading, pondering to understand the scriptures for observation of the self in relation to all life.

It is impossible to practice any of the other precepts without this one. It is taking the time to take ourselves seriously. It is working with our limitations, our shames, our potential, and going deeper into them to progress ourselves into transcendence. If we have any limitations in our body’s, minds, emotions this how spirit tries to get our attention. This is an inner teaching awaiting us. An area of untapped growth awaiting us.

It is through this path that we come to union with Godliness.

Guru Gita says:

Swadhyaya increases inner radiance, mental vigor agility. Its practice is far more uplifting that indulging in futile thoughts and unnecessary mental activity or following worthless tendencies. Swadhyaya embraces all aspects of yoga and grants all its rewards.

Miracle of Love by Paul Ferrini says:

The purpose of your journey here is to discover the Self and leave the persona behind. You are here to find out that the Source of love lies within your own consciousness. You donot have to seek love outside of yourself. Indeed, the very act of seeking it in the world will prevent you from recognizing it with yourself. And if you can’t find love within, you will never be able tofind it in others. You can’t see the light in others until you see it in yourself. Once you see it in yourself, ther is no one in whom you don not see the light. It does not matter if they see it or not. You know it’s there. And it is the light you address when you speak to them.

(With thanks from the source: http://www.lakecenteryoga.com/html/swadhyaya_-_stu... )

George Butista: A Certified Yoga Instructor, Wellness S

Posted April 6, 2012 by Dr. Harmander Singh in Counseling, Spirituality, Yoga, Spirit, Making A Difference, Inspiration, Fitness

George Butista: A Certified Yoga Instructor, Wellness Specialist, Sports Nutritionist and His Radio Talk Shows

Ever since he was a kid, George was always active. He was an athlete growing up playing high school baseball, football and heavily active in the martial arts and strength training. After high school George's passion for music led him to become a musician and he has been a part-time professional drummer for the last 20 years.

Through those years he realized he also was dealing with a lot of chronic conditions such as allergies, bronchitis, frequent sinus infections and lower back pain due to severe athletic injuries. He decided that he needed to take full responsibility for his health and not leave it in the hands of prescription and over the counter medications, which many times made the conditions worse. So he read and studied hundreds of books and tapes on nutrition, health, spirituality and personal development.

For the last 12 years George has been using Strength training, yoga, meditation, and high level nutrition to enhance his healthy lifestyle. He has since has used all these principles to help heal the injury, heal all his other chronic conditions and keep himself in shape. He has studied, Ashtanga Yoga, Hatha Yoga, sports nutrition and various forms of meditation.

His goal is to help spread the message of natural health and healing and to do his part to help people take responsibility for their health. His philosophy is that healing is not only physical but mental as well. Your outlook on life and your ability to be in the moment have just as much to do with healing as eating right and exercising. He also believes that making a few simple changes over time can lead to a major difference. It all starts with taking responsibility for your health and letting your body's natural healing ability take over.

George is a certified yoga instructor, wellness specialist and sports nutritionist. (With thanks from source: http://www.s325150315.initial-website.com/my-profi... )

His Radio Talk Shows:

Listen to internet radio with George Batista Jr on Blog Talk Radio

His voice sounds as if an Indian Sage talking about Health and Wellness.

His selected topics embrace most of topics that have great importance in our daily life.

He is really making a difference.

George Butista is a member of Life Dynamix - Wings for All. He is also Certified Life Dynamix Wellness Specialist.

Thanks for your time to read!

Afternoon Naps Are Good for Learning: An Article for Me

Posted April 1, 2012 by Dr. Harmander Singh in Education, Mind, Learning, Study Skills, Counseling

Afternoon Naps Are Good for Learning: An Article for Mental Health by Psychology Expert Carol Roach

New research is breaking the old paradigm that people who do sleep in school don’t learn in schools. It turns out that these people who are accused of dozing in class actually learn better by having that little snooze. According to a recent study a little nap is good for consolidating memory.

Pay attention; those words rang oh true for so many students who were caught dozing off in the classroom. Young students were punished for sleeping in the classroom. Parents were called to the school or notes sent home saying the child was inattentive and many parents were told they were not parenting properly. These kids needed to get more sleep at home, to go to bed at a decent hour, and it was the parent’s responsibility to make sure this was done.

The current feeling is that lack of sleep prevents students from learning. Now there is new research which may change the thinking of a lot of professionals, psychologists and educators alike. Some researchers at the University of Notre Dame maintain that a short nap after learning may actually enhance new learning.

The psychologist and her team studied university students who maintained at least six hours of sleep each night. They were tested on their ability to recall facts and events (declarative memory) and their ability to remember world facts (semantic memory). The results showed that they scored better after a fresh night’s sleep then they did when tested after being awake all day. They also found that students remembered the material easier directly after having a short nap...

Please read the full article at Knoji Knowledge Network: http://psychology1.knoji.com/afternoon-naps-are-go...

9 Rules of Human Nature that Apply to Work by Alexandra

Posted February 5, 2012 by Dr. Harmander Singh in Business, Learning, Counseling

9 Rules of Human Nature that Apply to Work by Alexandra Levit

It’s no secret that career success often depends on the quality of the relationships you develop with your managers and co-workers. Although office personalities vary considerably, there are certain rules that always apply because we are all human. Here are 9 to keep in mind as you strive to lead, influence, and collaborate with people at work.

1. We always want more

As human beings, we are usually not comfortable with our current level of achievement. Once we attain success in some fashion, we scarcely take the time to celebrate before moving on to the next big thing. And when it comes to job satisfaction, we want what we don’t have. For example, employees in big business want to become free-spirited entrepreneurs, while many entrepreneurs wish for the security of a full-time job. Give us the freedom to try other things so we see why our situation is so great.

2. Everyone wants to feel valued

We want to feel like we are making a contribution to the organization, that our work is making the world a better place. Even if the job is to put the wrappers on chewing gum, we need to understand the big picture and why our role is critical to the company’s success. Tell us.

3. People want to talk about themselves

Human beings are self-absorbed by nature, so when you encourage us to tell you about our family, our hobbies, and our pet projects, we feel closer to you. If you want to build strong relationships, remember birthdays and children’s names.

4. People want to be part of a group

We are a social species, and we want to fit it at all costs. We may even sacrifice our own ideals for this privilege, hence what is known as mob mentality. Gain broad support for your projects by rallying colleagues to your side.

5. We might want to help you, but we still want something in return

Most humans do genuinely want to assist others, but the part of us that looks after #1 first is alive and well. If we’re being honest, most of us will admit that when we do someone a favor, we expect to reap the benefits at some point in the future. Try to do your share even if no one is asking.

6. We want to take action

Although human beings are not huge fans of change, we’re also not content with the status quo. If things are too peaceful, we get bored and want to shake things up a little, and in times of uncertainty, we want to do something – anything – to bring about a resolution. Be wary of knee-jerk reactions.

7. Once a decision is made, it’s made

We humans tend to hold hard and fast to our decisions, even if they’re turning out to be the wrong ones. This is primarily due to cognitive dissonance, or the feeling of discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs. If you want someone to change their mind, start persuading before they have too much invested.

8. We believe the worst won’t happen

This belief is the reason we still haven’t protected ourselves against the future flood that will wipe out downtown Manhattan. Despite what the scientists say, we refuse to come to terms with the inevitable. But while we’re thinking that other people get fatal diseases and go bankrupt, someone in the organization should be planning for the worst-case scenario.

9. We make the same mistakes over and over

Human beings don’t learn from the lessons of the past, and we like to blame others for our misfortunes instead of taking a hard look inward and sharing responsibility for negative outcomes. Don’t fall into this trap. Life circumstances change all the time, but you take yourself with you.

(Photo credit: male businessman in suit with laptop via Shutterstock)

With thanks from the source: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/management/9-rule...

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