ojuditho's Blogs

I had a weird dream last night...that I was in a very dangerous confused state...unable to focus at all, driving--speeding, in reverse with an aquantence of mine who is a tai chi teacher. Then I remember seeing a sign that told me not to eat kale, broccoli, cauliflower and a few other things.

I understand that the first part is me losing control of my life. But why am I being told not to eat certain foods?

Last week’s recap:

Again, I wasn’t able to keep tabs on my weekly
spending.  And it’s already Wednesday and
I feel like it’s too late in the week to keep track.  Maybe taking the pressure off of trying to do
it for a couple of days may help?  I don’t
know…I’m not striving for it this week.

Not only did I make one new friend, I made two! J  Well, both were already acquaintances (one
from online and one from school), but hung out with new people this weekend and
did my best to keep busy with other things and other people (old friends).  Even allowing myself to put myself into
uncomfortable settings (not bad, just not comfortable…such as a club and a
party).  And though I didn’t have fun, it
was better than sitting at home, alone, feeling sorry for myself. 

And, I decided the only way I’ll know if I’m ready for a new
job is to try it and see.  I went for the
job interview (it’s in Manhattan—I live on Long Island). 
After the interview and the 15-minute massage I gave, the girl
interviewing me said, “here’s the thing: I still have about 7 more people to
interview and then my boss has to make the final decision based on my reviews…but
as far as I’m concerned, give me your hours and I’ll put you in the book”.  I’d say that went rather well, huh?

Oh, and it finally happened. 
I was sitting at a table at school, talking with my ex and two other
friends when her boyfriend came over and kissed her.  I promptly said, “f*ck that” said goodbye to
the two other people, gave an evil eye to the ex and the other one and
left.  I really didn’t need that.

Goals for the week of 5/13 – 5/19

• Get a
  new notebook: I lost my freaking journal on the train!  I’ve been keeping it since September and
  it contains WAY too much stuff that I don’t remember.  I guess I needed to get a new one anyway…I’m
  at a different point in my life right now. 
  The other note book will filled with so many thoughts and feelings
  about my ex and how my life was then…maybe it’s time to get a new book for
  a new life…
• Spend
  at least 30 minutes doing school related work (outside of school) each day:
  this includes either studying alone, studying with people from school, or
  reviewing my notes.

Last week’s recap:

<o:p> </o:p>

Wow…was last week a long week!  Out of the 4 things I aimed towards
accomplishing, let’s see how I did. 

<o:p> </o:p>

Keep my room clean: 
for the most part.  Definitely
more so than usual.  There’s still a
little hear and there, and I didn’t do any additional cleaning, but it looks
pretty good.

<o:p> </o:p>

Keep track on money that I’m
spending:  I did it for one day, and the
next day I realized I forgot some stuff, lost track of what I was doing and
gave up.  Bad way to start things off, I
know, but there’s always this week to start again.<o:p></o:p>

Be optimistic: for the most part.  The weekends are hard for me, but I did my
best to go out (alone) and focus on enjoying myself.  I’m confident that things will get better (I
only broken down 4 days last week instead of all 7).<o:p></o:p>

And lastly…<o:p></o:p>

Make it through the first week of school:
I did!  School is going to be cake.  For the most part, the classes I’m taking are
just review for me, so I’m going to do great. 
However, BEING AT the school was hell. 
Having 3 out of 4 classes with my love’s new boyfriend is constant turmoil,
and seeing them together in school damn near broke me.  But, I did it, and I shall keep doing
it.  And on top of that, I think I even
made a new friend.  I put out the energy
that I want to make a new friend, a new companion (not a romantic thing), and
the first person I talk to is a girl 5 years older than me that just moved here
from the Midwest, has very similar goals, a 4 or 5 year old kid, and a
boyfriend.  We kind of connected and
there isn’t the possibility of a relationship (she has a boyfriend), so it’s
nice.  <o:p></o:p>

Now for this week’s goals:<o:p></o:p>

• Keep track of money I’m spending: I didn’t do it last
  week, but that doesn’t mean I should give up.  And just because I didn’t start keeping
  track on Sunday doesn’t mean I can’t start on Monday.
  
  <!--<if !supportLineBreakNewLine>-->
  
  <!--<endif>--><o:p></o:p>
• Make at least one new friend: I don’t have very many
  (that I hang out with), and my weekends are really lonely (I used to spend
  the whole weekend with my ex).  I
  want to find someone to hang out with this weekend. 
  
  <!--<if !supportLineBreakNewLine>-->
  
  <!--<endif>--><o:p></o:p>
• Decide if I’m ready for a new job: I got a call from a
  friend last week saying that she’s looking to hire massage therapists at
  the place that she works at.  I can
  pretty much make my own hours and get $40 (50%) a treatment.  It’s in the city, so it’s going to cost
  money to take the train to get there, but it seems like a good gig.  I just hope my wrists are up for
  it.  <o:p></o:p>

That's all for now.  Keep it simple.  I've always believed
in a stupid Gin Blossoms quote, "if you don't expect too much from me,
you might not be let down".  Expect a little, and I just may go above
and beyond.

Be well and good journeys--D

***Explicit Blog*** 

So I've been reading Kevin Trudeau's new book about the "weight loss
protocol".  I've never read any of his books before, but I woke up to
that infomerical on a morning when I felt that change was in order. 
Then when I was in the book store, it was right in front of me, so I
broke down and bought it. 

The first 4 chapters are filler. 
They are literal cut and paste jobs to fill page and justify the
price.  He can't seperate his writing from his adgenda.  The first 75
pages or so could have been 15.  The rest was redundancies, plugging
his other two books, convincing you (after you bought the book) that
this protocol is going to work <not saying what it is>, and his issues
with the government. 

I don't have a problem with his
feelings towards the government, but write a book on that...not on
weight loss.  Keep it to the point and stop just trying to vent and
whore youself out.  Yes, we know you have two other books, you don't
need to mention that on every third page!

So, after a while
(I'm a slow reader), I finally get up to the protocol, only to find
that you can buy the full protocol or just simply view it online. 
Dick.  I start reading the protocol, and it turns out that you need to
get injections of hCG (Human chorionic gonadotropin), which means you
now have to find a doctor to assist you in this protocol.  He also
doesn't take into account that not everyone drinks caffeine and not
everyone eats meat or fish.  You're supposed to drink organic black
coffee or organic green tea, or organic yerba mate...I'm not drinking
caffeine at the moment, and the amount you're supposed to drink will
destory my system.  You're supposed to eat grass fed, hormone free beef
or chicken or fish...I never eat fish and I'm currently not eating
meat.  What now, douche bag?  The people reading this book may be fat
Americans, but that doesn't mean we're all movementless, Price-Club
going, ice cream for lunch eating, twice a day fast food having couch
potatos.  Some of us always do our best to eat organiclly, eat the
"right" foods, live a vegan lifestyle (not saying I do), and are very
active...we just can't seem to get rid of our guts.  I know you're fond
of making blanket statements that we're all sheep just being sucked in
and controlled by the government's addictive additives that our in our
food (I'm paraphrasing), but some off us are lively, active hippies
that care about our bodies (as a whole, not just how we look) and treat
them like temples, however, we're fat. 

So what are we to
do?  <At the moment> I'm not eating meat, I'm not drinking caffeine. 
How am I supposed to follow the protocol "to the letter" if I can't do 
two of the main components.  I'm sure there was tofu and tempeh and
wheat gluten/seitan in Dr. Simeons' day.  What about people sensitive
to caffeine that can't have the organic black coffee and organic yerba
mate and green tea?  And yes, Yerba Mate and green tea do cause anxiety
and trembles in people senstive to caffeine.  I know, because it does
it to me.

What about the people that can't afford to eat
organiclly and get daily injections?  A lot of people are McDonald's
freaks because they can get a full meal for $2.94, instead of spending
$10 on something organic.  How is Mr. and Mrs.
Works-all-day-for-$9.50-an-hour-and-doesn't-have-time-to-prepare-a-meal
supposed to do "your" miracle protocol that we could have read on your
website for free by signing up for a trial-membership? 

I've
lost my steam, so I'm gonna end this now.  I'm just disgusted by this
garbage.  Both the book and that this human being is taking advantage
of people.